Monday, May 23, 2011

Lessons I've learned this week: {{A compilation of 4 days worth of blogs}}

Lesson 1) Do not question the bible:

Crazy men who take random numbers from the bible, turn them into mathematical equations they themselves make up and turn into a date they decide the world will end, most likely don't know what they are talking about. {{Weird. I know.}}

Lesson 2) A 20 month old can make a HUGE mess with little to nothing:

We have boxed up almost all of Bug's toys. Leaving out only a clear plastic totes worth that I will be taking with me on our excursion to NC. Both so she'll have toys in the car and some things of her own when we get there. I had to leave the tote about half empty because my child is neurotic and sleeps with about 8 toys in her bed. She knows which ones are there and if you try to sneak by her that one is missing she'll stand in her crib and yell for it; "Mouse! Mouse! My Mouse!" Also, I left out her crayons and what was left of a Giant Coloring Pages book. How could anyone make a mess with such little stuff to make a mess with? She completely emptied the clear tote and decided the GIANT coloring pages were too big and proceeded to tear them into much smaller mini-coloring pages. Nice.

Lesson 3) I hate moving. Bring on the paid people:

You'd think after moving so much my whole life, I'd have this whole moving thing down. Apparently, after I sat and did nothing but watch the movers pack and move our stuff and then un-pack it for our last move I gave up the will to be good at it. After all why should I do it when the military will do it for you? It's so easy right? Except we didn't have orders so we were going to have to move ALL of our stuff to the garage until we got orders and transportation could come and move it from there. No fun. We've been 'packing' since Friday and, while most of the big stuff is out in the garage awaiting further instruction, we are still laying on our couch cushions on the floor of the living room staring at the t.v. now set up on the coffee table. THANKFULLY, J got orders today. You can't go to transportation without orders. You can't set up movers without transportation. See where our dilemma was? Problem solved. Movers will come. No more 'packing' for me.

Lesson 4) I am a huge wimp:

Many of you are rolling your eyes right now. The fact that I am a fat wimp is no new revelation, but I'll let you all snicker and laugh at my girlishness anyways. We had a stack of boxes laying down in the kitchen and I moved them with my foot to get by them and when I did a nice big spider ran out from underneath it. So, I did what is standard protocol in this situation and I "EEEEkkked" and ran to the other room where I gagged profusely and squealed "ew! Ew! EW!" like a three year old. After a moment, I was able to compose myself and find a really big shoe and head back to the kitchen on the hunt. Suddenly, said spider is no where to be found. Now, I don't like spiders I'll be the first to admit that. They freak me the hell out. I've gotten better about my fear though and will even kill them by myself now {{I'm a big girl!}}. HOWEVER, there is one thing even scarier to me than a spider I can see; that's one I could see a second ago and now have no clue where it is {{Cue movie scene where the unsuspecting walks out of a room after losing visual contact with big creepy deadly spider and its hanging on their back}}. After a quick return to standard protocol, I pushed the boxes around brandishing my shoe-weapon hoping to find the creepy little bastard. Of course, I can't find it and for the next two hours every time I need something in the kitchen, I run in on my tiptoes and run out as quickly as possible on high alert in case the eight legged monster should come jumping out to eat me from it's hiding spot. After two hours J comes in picks up the boxes and finds my creepy little friend hiding under the middle of it and unceremoniously steps on it, ending my hours of wimpiness with one quick stomp of his shoe.

Is this move over yet?

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