Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Nursing in Public: An Experiment Gone Humorously Wrong

Last Saturday, the hubs, the kids and I braved the crowds and went shopping at the mall in Raleigh. While there, we picked up a "First Christmas" ornament for 2.0, visited with our jeweler and showed off our new sleepy baby. After we finished shopping, J dropped the three of us off at the play area so he could go buy my Christmas present and so Bug could play for a bit.

I thoroughly believe that kids have a timer that goes off as soon as they are left alone with one parent. Particularly, when there's more than one of them. As soon as J walked out of ear shot, 2.0 woke up and was absolutely 'starving' and she was letting me know it. Bug is a Super-daddy's-girl and when she realized he wans't sitting with me she started the beginnings of the most interesting meltdown she has ever thrown {{she did have an audience}}. Like all parents, I assesed the situation and decided the newborn was higher on the priority list. I managed to change 2.0's diaper while she continued to let me know how angry she was for letting her get so hungry {{I use the term 'starving' with a lot of sarcasm. This kid gained 1lb 10oz in 17 days.}} Mean while, my two year old is crying for her daddy throwing herself on the bench and then on the floor and then back on the bench again. Saying, "oh no!" and covering her mouth in a Scarlett O'Hara-esque display. She was being EXTREMELEY ridiculous. The little old lady down the bench from me apologized for laughing. Not that I blame her. It *was* funny.

After changing her, I decided that I would try nursing 2.0 in the moby. For the first time. Ever. I have had several discussions about this with friends and my neighbor even showed me how easy it was while we were out for a walk. {{Can't be too hard. Apparently, people do it all the time!}} I bust out my moby, trying not to laugh at my 2 year old, who is still in hysterics except for when she sees the slide and stops to go play for a moment {{Oh! Something shiny!}} Not to worry though, when she's finished sliding, she returns to her ridiculousness. At this point I have a very angry newborn in my moby and I'm trying to get my boob out without flashing the play area {{cant you just hear the headline? 'Woman arrested in Raleigh for exposing herslef to kids.'}} By now a creepy old man across the play area from us, realizes what I'm doing and has become VERY Interested in what Im doing {{Ew!}}. By this point in the fiasco I'm getting a little flustered {{Weird, right?}}. My boob is half out of my shirt ((covered with the moby)), my VERY angry newborn is trying to nurse on my shirt and right at *this* moment, my 2 year old decides she's angry at her overalls and shimmies right out of them. Right there, in the middle of the play area.

There comes a moment in every new experience where you either conquer the situation or accept defeat. Watching Bug run around in circles, laughing, without her pants on, the creepy old guy trying to catch a glimpse and the screaming 'starving' newborn in the moby = serious defeat.

Note to self: Try these things at home first.


Unknown said...

Thanks for posting this. I had a similar experience, only it was 26 years ago.....in Portland, Oregon. This was looooong before breastfeeding in public was even "heard of"....but I had no choice, and my older child did the same thing, melted down and then wanted to get naked.....all the while my newborn screamed like they had not been fed in DAYS!....too hilarious for words, now...but back then, it was mortifying......but we all survived!

Paige said...

Oh no! Isn't trying to get everything situated in public such a task! Does your state not have breast feeding laws stating that it is okay to breast feed in public. I live in Kentucky and carry around the KRS Law Code in my wallet, just in case.

Megan Kelley said...

I have yet to have the "small child" decide to get naked in public... my biggest fiasco in public is when he threw himself down inside staples, took off his boots, threw them, and decided he wasn't going ANYWHERE! And, when I picked him up under my arm, wrestling with my purse and his boots with the other arm, I tried to make a hasty retreat to the car, when "BONK!" I hit his head (not hard, mind you, but enough that it made a sound & his cry went from angry to "oweee!") on the door on my way outside! I SWORE someone was going to call Child Protective Services on me or something!