I Missed You {{Me}}

Last year was crazy. The baby. The Deployment. The other baby... I haven't felt like myself in a looooooong time. The last time I was *just* about there, *just* about back to some resemblance of a human, I found out I was expecting number three. I know down to the very bottom of my toes that I am one blessed individual. Between my husband and my three beautiful babies, I have no clue what I have done to deserve them and honestly the thought of losing one of them shakes me straight to my core. That being said, having three kids in four years can really do something to a girl.I love them to death but sometimes I feel like I am being attacked by a tiny mob of cute zombies. They're hungry, they're tired, they're thirsty, they need to be changed, hugged, kissed, cuddled, played with, bathed. Let's not forget their laundry, dishes, diapers, toys. My list of things to do never ends. My day starts early {{waaayyyy too early}} and it doesn't end until well after bedtime. Add in school work {{something has to keep groceries in the fridge after J retires some day}} housework {{cough, cough}} and let's not forget my fourth "child" {{love you honey!!}} and dealing with everything it means to be a military spouse. It's easy to lose yourself in trying to make sure everyone else gets taken care of {{it's kind of like being slowly eaten alive... by zombies... Just kidding...but seriously}}

On top of all of that, I have been feeling pretty bad about myself. You know what's really cute on a pregnant woman? A big round belly. You know what's cute on a not-pregnant lady?? {{Womp, womp}} Combine it all together and I've probably been an ogre. Screw not "being myself," I was probably closer to a cave dweller.

The good news is that Baby J is finally old enough for me to start working out. I am nursing and, though I am a little nervous about what it will do to that, everything I have read says to go for it - and drink water {{Lots and lots of water}}. So Friday, I started working out again. Nothing crazy. I want to start slow to prevent a supply loss, so I'm only doing thirty minutes of cardio... for now. I've always known that working out is my therapy, but I didn't realize how much I needed it until I was on my elliptical tonight.

Thirty minutes of quiet. Thirty minutes of by myself. Thirty minutes of blowing off steam. Thirty minutes and my shakra is aligned; my world is at peace {{Namaste}}. Thirty minutes and the ogre is gone...

Thirty minutes just for Me...