This Might Surprise You... But I don't care {{PSA}}

There is this awful thing that society has done to pregnant women, or rather that it does to people who see pregnant women. Something clicks in their brains and makes them stupid. Not only does it make them stupid but it makes them stupid and removes any kind of brain-to-mouth-filter allowing them to say whatever they want.

I would like to share a few conversations that people have had with me in the last few weeks and then, I would like to 'surprise' you by telling you that I REALLY don't care what happened to you, or {{insert any random person here that you might know - like your cousin's sister's boyfriends best friend that you met that one time}} or about ANY thing you may have watched on TLC or Discovery Health {{specifically pertaining to parasitic bugs}}.

Conversation #1~ I'm having three girls, who will all be in high school together {{this isn't lost on me I PROMISE}} so please tell me how much they are going to hate {{HAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTEEEEE}} me. Really, it's awesome and pretty much what every miserable, pregnant woman wants to hear.

Conversation #2~ I'm having three girls, who will undoubtedly and so surely hate {{HAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTEEEEE}} each other some day that our family will be broken and never be a "normal" family, all because I went and had three girls. Thanks.

Conversation #3~ I'm fairly close to delivery so please tell me again about your {{insert any random person here that you might know or have heard about through the grave vine - like your cousin's sister's boyfriends best friend that you met that one time}} that had a perfectly normal, healthy pregnancy until the last week when their baby died in utero. {{*Thumbs up!* You rock!}}

Conversation #4~ Please tell me how concerned you are about our money/health insurance situation, strange person I have NEVER met, who has NO IDEA about either "situation".

Conversation#5~ "I saw this episode of {{blank}} of TLC or Discovery Health, did you see it?! It was crazy the woman gave birth in a tree/hut/forest/flagpole/doghouse/whatever. Is that how you are going to do it?!" or "I saw this crazy, INSANELY biased, one sided, ignorant, video on {{some medical procedure that pertains to child birthing}} online. You aren't going to do that are you?!"

Conversation #6~ Please keep telling me how your ability to go drug-free pertains to MY vagina. {{Hmmmmm... ya know? I don't think it does...}}

Conversation#7~ "Wow!! You're SOOOO {{insert any adjective describing something large}}!!!!!!"

On behalf of all pregnant women, if you are discussing any of the above {{or anything else that might be added to the list}} and you get a blank, blinking stare and a big, stupid smile, it's not baby-brain, it's just a hallucination of you getting stabbed in the eye with a very rusty fork. Do yourself a favor, quickly change the subject by telling her she's the most beautiful pregnant woman you have ever seen... and run.

I don't care about any of it and I REALLY don't want to hear it. Neither does any other poor pregnant woman you corner in the grocery store, for that matter. And for the record, no it's not twins. But thank you for asking.

There Is No Time Like Now...

There's No Time Like Now...

For spending an afternoon with the awesome women in your life {{and getting gorgeous jewelry in the process}}...

I hosted a Lia Sophia Party for a friend yesterday and it was so much fun! I know I have said it before, but I really do have the BEST neighbors!

For eating delicious food...

There is a new bakery in our little corner of the world. They offer delicious cupcakes {{that I may or may not have been eating too many of recently}} and they were part of the treats at the party. YUM!!

For... cleaning your carpets...?

{{Wait, What?!}} Pretty sure, I walked my last two guests upstairs last night to show them around, leaving 2.0 sitting on the floor drinking from her bottle. When we walked back down stairs, she had EXPLODED in her diaper, leaving poo-pile #1 {{And. It. Was. EPIC.}} Then she crawled through it, schmearing it ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM. Where we found her sitting in poo-pile #2 {{Yay life!}} Remember those AWESOME neighbors I mentioned? Yea, one of them ran home to get her carpet cleaner and cleaned the area for me, while the other neighbor and I tried to clean 2.0 off without touching her. {{Or gagging... The smell was AWFUL!!}} Thanks, Ladies!! YOU ROCK!

For going back to school...

Yup, two weeks ago, I found out The Art Institute is now offering online degrees and it was like the design gods had opened the clouds and spoken to me {{Actually, her name was Tara and I was chatting with her on their website. It's sort of the same thing though.}} I enrolled right away and today was my first day of the B.S. Interior Design program. That is now how my September looks. It's a little overwhelming, but VERY exciting and after all...

There really is no time like now.

Apple Cinnamon Wontons

I woke up to an absolutely beautiful morning. It was in the low 60's, there was a gorgeous breeze, and, best of all, no humidity!! I even got to drink my coffee on our screened in porch {{my very favorite place to have coffee}} while the girls quietly watched Mickey Mouse. It was very close to perfection {{Bet you can guess what was missing}} and in a very short amount of time, a morning like this will in fact equal perfection. The weather was so nice, I decided to open up the house and let out some of the summer-stale and enjoy the cross breeze while I had my Saturday morning clean-up party.

Clean up parties don't last long around here, anymore. Why, you ask? Well, Pigpen and her little dirt-farming-sister seem to undo any cleaning I do, faster than I can clean, so it doesn't take long before I decide to move on to bigger and better things... Like baking {{hello, I'm pregnant! What else am I going to do?}}.

I periodically crave dumplings and have used several brands of empanada, ravioli, or wonton casings found in the commissary, to make them homemade. Recently, I came across these:

And they are by far the best I have used. They freeze and thaw well and they are easy to work with, without tearing apart. Having decided I needed {{NEEEEDED}} to make some thing sweet, I opened the fridge and there they were, calling to me from their little home in the deli drawer. I also happened to have 4 Granny Smiths and I quickly decided to make Apple Cinnamon Wontons.

Ingredients:
3-4 Granny smiths, peeled and chopped.
4ish tbsp of brown sugar
2 tsp of vanilla
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash of nutmeg
Package of wonton wrappers
1 stick of butter
1 egg white
1 tsp water


Combine all ingredients {{except the wonton wrappers and butter}} into a bowl and mix well while melting 4 tbsp of butter over med-low heat. Once butter is melted, but before it browns, add the apple mixture. Let simmer until it's all bubbly and delicious looking and then add the remaining butter. It is important not to let the moisture cook out of the apples. Also, the length of time you cook your apples is totally up to you and how cooked you like them to be. I like mine a little aldente and only cooked them for 7 or 8 minutes. Once they are done, remove them from heat and set aside for the filling process. {{If I had had some caramel squares, I would have thrown some in to melt down into the apples, at this point, and I think it would have been delicious!!}}

While the apples are simmering, beat an egg white and tsp of water together in a bowl and set up your wonton wrappers for filling. At this point you can also heat up a pan with oil or you can wait until you've filled your wontons, as once you get them in the hot oil, the process moves pretty quick. Brush the outer edges of the wonton wrappers with egg white and spoon a tbsp of the apple mixture into the center of one, top with the other and press edges together {{This would be good to let kids do, if they are helping you.}}

Drop the filled wonton into oil hot enough to make the edges bubble.

Turn when the edges start to brown. Cook for as long as it takes for the dough to bubble and lightly brown. Don't get distracted by other things or they *might* turn out a little darker than you anticipated.

Sprinkle with powdered sugar and be prepared to eat them with reckless abandon.

ENJOY!!

What's In...

Isn't always what works.

I have recently become obsessed with nail polish. It probably has something to do with an article I read that said nail polish draws attention to one of the smaller parts of your body. {{Ummm... does this nail polish make my butt look small?}} Anyways, so I have become sort of adept in painting my own nails. I suck at painting my right hand. {{Usually once I'm done, it looks like I sneezed with the polish brush in my hand.}} The other day I heard that Minty Green was the new "it" color and I happily picked it up while on a shopping trip to Target earlier this week.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like I'm rocking the new "it" color...

It looks more like I got in a fight with a tube of toothpaste and lost....

Note to self: When you're this pasty, stay faaaaaaaaaaaar away from pastels!

Today...

I woke up.

I made a whole list of important things to get done.

I cleaned our bathroom.

I put away laundry that had been living on my dresser for a month {{or seven or eight}}.

I made the girls waffles.

And then...

I sat down.

Now, a Sex and The City {{or seven or eight}}, a nap time and a whole bag of Sour Patch Kids later...

my tongue is raw and I think the rest of my list can wait until tomorrow.

I'm Fat {{A Baby-J Update}}

On Friday I will be 28 weeks pregnant {{Seven months, for those you not up on the lingo}}. This pregnancy has flown by with hardly any drama and almost no puking, a fact I am supremely greatful for, after spending the majority of my first, and the first half of my second pregnancy with my head in a toilet. I can officially say this pregnancy hasn't been awful. Actually, if all of my pregnancies were as uncomplicated and smooth as this one, I might be happy to have ten kids {{but lets not get crazy}}.

Baby J is a very healthy little girl. She's active as can be {{so active at one point I had to go to L&D because I thought her acrobatics and pokey-fingers game were causing unwanted things to happen}}. She is measuring spot on and though she is due Nov 2nd, I have a feeling she'll be making her debut into the world some time the week before Halloween, but we shall see. They all come when they want to. She is a fiesty little thing. She refuses to let them monitor her heart beat for longer than a second and she LOVES calling the 1-800-momsfood line and asking for cupcakes. And skittles. Lots and lots of skittles. This pregnancy I have gained more weight at this point, than I had in my other two, but in my other two pregnancies I gained a lot of weight {{like 30 pounds each time}} very quickly in the last three months. Maybe this time it just evened out over the whole nine months {{Or maybe I'm just huge and we'll play it off like I meant to do it.}}

"Some how" I have managed to stay busy enough to avoid sitting and focusing on the fact that in a few months we will have two children under one and a three year old. J asked me the other day if I was ready {{which effectively, is like asking if I am ready to be run over by a semi and then thrown onto a porcupine.}} Yes, we are ready for a baby to come. The house is {{almost}} all set and even Bug seems to understand another human will be living with us shortly. We have everything we need and Baby J even has her own space in the closet. We are ready but I'm not sure you can ever mentally prepare yourself for what's about to happen. I mean, 2.0 is still up three or four times a night and Bug has more attitude than I do {{which should be some kind of impossibility}}. I also keep getting asked if I'm getting excited {{sorry people, but please refer to the comment about being run over by a semi}}. My husband is coming home from deployment to an infant who was two months old when he left, a three year old and a hormonal pregnant house woman and in the "honeymoon phase" of all of that, we are adding another baby to the mix {{nothing like making all of your life adjustments at one time!}}. While it all IS exciting {{please no hate mail about how babies are blessings, I KNOW we are blessed and I am excited Baby J will be here soon}}, MOSTLY it's all just really scary.

I feel like it will be like ripping off a band-aid. It will suck while it's happening and then all the anxiety about doing it will be worthless because it wasn't really *that* bad anyways. The good news is I won't be pregnant again for a very VERY VERY long time {{I've already told my doctor that I will hold her personally responsible if it happens again}} and in the grand scheme of things being pregnant for three years isn't that bad... It could be worse...

That Duggar woman has been pregnant for twenty-two years...