Friday, August 12, 2011

Pregnancy Rage & a Blog Giveaway {{not mine}}

You know what would be really funny? A pregnant woman on a show or movie, goes into her doctors office and asks a question about her emotional state and the doctor takes the answer as far to the extreme as possible and carts her out in a straight jacket...

Only this isn't a movie, it's my life. And no, they didn't really go *that* far... Thank goodness.

I want to share this story becuase its funny {{but more of in a haha-I'm-glad-that-didn't-happen-to-me-sort-of-way}} and because I believe that this story is exactly the reason women don't ask for help about their mental health from their health care providers until things go too far.

I have what I have dubbed, "Pregnancy Rage". It's the immediate snap from being a happy go-with-the-flow kind of person to an enraged person in the blink of an eye. Usually over something irrational. Like say I go to DD for a yummy blended coffee and they ask if I want whipped cream and I say, 'Yes and the chocolate & caramel on top too, please.' And then they hand it to me with no whipped cream or yummy syrups on top and I have to physically fight the urge not to throw it back at the useless soul at the window. {{seriously, why even ask if your just going to give it to me the way YOU want it?!}} Ok, it's nothing terrible. Just a general feeling of my emotions being out of control on the inside and {{because I'm a control freak}} I don't like it. So I thought I'd ask my doctor about it just to hear, "Well, Megs. Your pregnant. And your hormones are crazy, but you aren't. And all of it will go away once you have a baby." You know, a little doctorly reassurance.

Instead this is how the conversation went:

I go in, he asks why Im there {{which freakin annoys the hell out of me}}, determines the paperwork we were supposed to be going over isn't in my file, asks if I have any questions. Then I asked about the pregnancy rage and said something about my emotions feeling out of control. He asked if I had a history of depression and I said yes and told him years ago, but it was situational and that I dont feel that, what I've dubbed the pregnancy rage, is any form of depression. He immediately tells me he thinks I should let him RX me wellbutrin {{WELLBUTRIN people!!}} to "even me out". I repeat that I dont think it has any thing to do with depression he asks if I feel the need to hurt myself, my child or anyone else. To which, I burst into tears. {{Seriously, in ten minutes this guy tried to RX WELLBUTRIN to me, at our FIRST meeting and then he asked if I was going to hurt my kid.}} Now, because Im crying, Im suddenly unable to properly explain what my definition of "pregnancy rage" is and he doesn't really ask. The crying, unfortunately, only fuels the RX discussion. Which he says will really help even me out if I think I need it... clearly he does. Again, I refuse and he says then that I need to see a councelor if Im not going to take his advice, "Just to be safe."

Then the nurse comes out to give me the referral. Tricare is awesome and because of this AWESOMENESS there's this whole long process I'm not going supposed to do for me to see a councelor and instead of saying, "to make it go faster..." She says, "If you feel like your going to hurt your child or yourself you need to go to the ER because they HAVE to see you." I think this is where the pregnancy rage sets in and I should have screamed, "THATS NOT MY PROBLEM!! ITS STUPIDITY LIKE THIS!!" Like I wanted to, but I didnt. I just took the stupid written referral and left.

Perfect. They all think I'm psychotic and no one even asked what was really going on. Awesome.

I completely understand that PPD and Antepartum Depression is a very serious thing. I also COMPLETELY get that having a history of any type of depression makes you more apt to have Ante or Postpartum depression. HOWEVER, I do not feel this jumping to conclusions without explanation the first time you meet a patient is {{nor should it be}} standard protocol.

There is a lesson here people: Just because your doctor says things like, "I think you should let me prescribe you WELLBUTRIN." Does not mean you should let him!! Be daring and think for yourself!

_____________now on to the giveaway_____________

No Model Lady is hosting an awesome birthday giveaway!! She is one of my favorite bloggers!! She is one hot tattoed mama and I love her writing style and her clothing style!! Hope someday I can be cute like her!!

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