If at third you don't succeed, spontaneously combust

I have been having mask issues since before we left Oklahoma. Mask is the means by which I blast designs onto whatever it is I am carving and without it I can't do anything. {{Well, I could. It would just be a mess.}} Mask is also expensive and it takes a good two hours {{or more}} of work to get from an image on the computer to a blastable finished product. I'm sure that if you put the two things together {{expensive & time consuming}} you can come to a level of understanding about how badly my head wants to explode when there are issues with it.

Shortly before I stopped working in OK, I had had several packets of mask that had problems. One or two sheets of the pack of five or maybe all of them would come and just be bad. They wouldn't washout, the image wouldn't come out of them at all, some just blew to millions of little mask pieces during the washout process. Its INFURIATING. Having some general idea what I am doing, I have spent many hours on the phone with the mask company trying to decipher who's problem this really is. Of course, they say its mine, but they can't say why and of course because they can't say why, I say it's theirs. {{Really, I'd be ok with it being my fault if we could just figure out what *IT* is.}} I have emailed pictures, waited on next day shipping, asked a thousand questions and still, something seems to be wrong. One major question they cant answer is why I get a perfect washout & blast from, say half the packet of mask, and then the rest is shit? If I was indeed doing something incorrectly, wouldnt I just be dicking up all of the mask?

Yesterday, while trapped inside during Hurricane Irene, I decided to make some new designs and get them ready for blasting and painting. When I did the picture frame and piece of granite the other day I had no issues at all and was blissfully hopeful that the mask issue had some how solved itself. Wrong. Not one item from a FULL sheet of mask came out. Crap. All of it. All of it except one little 2"x2" piece. That one little piece was what was left over from a piece of mask from Thursday {{the day with the perfect washout}}. This gives me hope. Makes me think its not just me screwing something up. After all why did one piece {{one piece from a sheet of mask from whence they all came out perfectly}} come out when the pieces from the new sheet didn't? I'll be e-mailing the company today and trying again on a new sheet.

If it doesn't turn out I could always face reality and get a real job. Or maybe spontaneous combustion really is the answer.

I wonder how I'd look with my head of fire...

I blasted yesterday

For the first time since... March, maybe? It. Was. Awesome!

It has been so long since I have had a creative outlet other than blogging {{and lets face it, thats really just me whining}}. I have been working on two ideas and had them all set up on the computer for immediate use when I got everything I needed to blast again. One is a baby frame and the other was a special something I did for J for our anniversary {{yes, the one three weeks ago... but who's counting?}}

J brought home the last piece of 'equipment' I needed to get to work on Wednesday and though I was eager to get to work, I had spent the morning with an amazing group of women that live in our neighborhood. I think 4 out of 6 of us run some kind of creative business out of our home and maybe spending a morning, out of the house, with people who do {{sort of}} the same thing as I do really inspired me to get the projects done. Not only that but it was great to meet some of the ladies in the neighborhood and between them and all the kids, I think we'll be very happy here for as long as Uncle Sam lets us stay.

Whether it was having good inspiration or just being extremely prepared the WHOLE masking process went off without a hitch {{except for a *cough, cough* quarter inch of standing water in the powder room from over spray during the washout - oops}} and it was like the planets aligned for me to have an awesome first blasting experience in our new house. The hardest parts of the day were setting up some necessary equipment pieces to be used during the process. I don't have quite the flat surface space I had in our last house, yet, and so I had to move a couple pieces of equipment that are kind of heavy and awkward without having a 7 month pregnant belly in the way, much less with one.

The frame was an easy set up. I have been planning this particular piece in my head for quite a while now and finally put it into the computer and then had set up measurements and everything on the actual frame, in anticipation of it being the first piece I was going to blast. Once the mask was prepared, it went together quickly. I blasted Bug's foot print on the backside of the frame and her name and birth stats on the front, to give it some depth and interest. It turned out GREAT! I'm hoping these will be huge! By scanning the image directly from the hospital's documents, we have a permenent reminder of how tiny Bug was when she was born.

The second piece I did yesterday was a piece of granite. J always give me crap because I've made lots of different pieces for everyone else but have yet to add anything to our household other than a coffee cup. {{Wouldnt you think every blastable surface in our house would be done?}} So, I knew once we got here and settled I wanted to make us a name marker for the front walk way. I spent a lot of time going through images and trying to decided what would look the best, represent our family and not turn into some creepy-headstone project. J had suggested his family crest and after some online searching I decided to pay a researcher and get an image of his family crest.

Unlike the picture frame, the granite is much more time consuming. You have to measure and because the pieces are so large you have to print the wording out in pieces and line it all up on the granite. The granite is also harder to work with because its heavy {{again, throw a seven month pregnant belly in with this and I'm sure I would have made a very comical you tube video}}. Right as I was finishing the masking portion of the granite and trying to decide if I could manuever it to the machine by myself, my neighbor text me. I took this as a sign from God and asked if she would like to come watch and maybe lend a hand if I needed it. Turns out, I didn't, but it was nice to have the company and the extra opinion. The granite came out GREAT! And I was so excited to have gotten it done before J got home for the day.

It was a very busy day and I WAY overdid it {{known for a fact thanks to an evening full of Braxton-Hicks}}, but it felt SO GOOD to be working again and sharing my work with everyone!

Like what you see?? Find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Sugar-Bees-Engraving/116723085047013

Wordless Wednesday

The things we do for our husband's happiness...

Like put up with The Man Chair {{AKA-the ugliest chair in the store}}. At least He was a happy camper this anniversary!

Just Another Miscellaneous Monday

Our WEDDING anniversary is tomorrow. Three years ago tomorrow, we celebrated our marriage with family and friends, a taco bar and a five gallon cooler of the tastiest margaritas. I love this man!

I've been thinking about school a lot lately. I was supposed to be done with my associates at the end of the spring semester, but thanks to a "slight oversight" by the registrar's at Ft. Sill, I still have 3 classes to finish. This is frustrating but not half as frustrating as the fact that the VA did some weird switcheroo of my benefits mid-semester and now I owe the college almost $600. I got this awesome letter saying the VA still owed me benefits from when I was in that would give me XX amount of dollars a month and they wanted to exhaust my benefits for me before we started using the benefits J transfered to me. We read the letter and it seemed like a good idea and somehow now I owe the college all this money. So not only am I NOT done, now to complete my degree, I have to dig almost $600 out of my butt so that I can continue. Frustrating. Very frustrating. More frustrating is the fact that I wanted to be done at the end of the spring because of the timing of our move and 2.0's arrival. Even if I could pull the six hundred dollars out of my ass {{and believe me it's not there}} it will still be the spring semester before I will have the sanity to add full-time student back to my title. Awesome.

Speaking of titles, I was able to spend a good couple of hours in my garage yesterday. The weather here has been beautiful the last couple of days allowing me to spend some time outside in fresh air. Yesterday, Bug and I were able to get the garage in some kind of order for Sugar Bee's. I got my sandblaster put back together and the air compressor set up. I also will have a little area in the garage with toys and some carpet for the girls to sit and play when I have to be out there working. Now all I need is the sand and the rest of my supplies to arrive {{all at some point this week}} and I'll be able to get back to work! I'm so happy to get back to business!

Another title I have been enjoying has been 'Mommy.' Bug has been saying so much recently and it seems she picks up new things that make us laugh almost everyday. A few weeks ago she dropped the F-bomb after J said it while telling a story. Unfortunately, we couldn't help but laugh. Needless to say we've been trying to watch our pirate-mouths a bit closer. She also has started singing these awesome little songs we cant {{for the most part}}understand. I especially like the ones when she mentions her daddy or her mommy and 'I love you'. Saturday, I took her with me to get some stuff for 2.0 and she was so cute, pointing at stuff as I handed it to the cashier saying her sister's name.

Preparations for 2.0 have finally started {{*cough, cough* with only 3 months to go, we had to start sometime}}. I opened the door to her room on Friday and quickly closed it. We've been using it as a dumping ground for all things baby and it seriously needs to be organized. Thats on my list for this week. A friend of ours had graciously donated a beautiful white wooden crib and another friend has offered loads of baby-clothes and gear. We have been WAY BLESSED by hand-me-downs, for sure! I really stressed about adding Bug to our family. You always hear about how much things change, especially when your expecting your first. I had no clue what to expect from her, from my husband, from me, and it really freaked me out {{have I mentioned I'm a control freak??}} This time I haven't stressed about adding another little body to our family at all. She'll come and we'll adjust and then it'll feel like she was always here, just like it did with Bug.

I'm done boring you...Just another miscellaneous Monday here at a thousand days of choas.

Pregnancy Rage & a Blog Giveaway {{not mine}}

You know what would be really funny? A pregnant woman on a show or movie, goes into her doctors office and asks a question about her emotional state and the doctor takes the answer as far to the extreme as possible and carts her out in a straight jacket...

Only this isn't a movie, it's my life. And no, they didn't really go *that* far... Thank goodness.

I want to share this story becuase its funny {{but more of in a haha-I'm-glad-that-didn't-happen-to-me-sort-of-way}} and because I believe that this story is exactly the reason women don't ask for help about their mental health from their health care providers until things go too far.

I have what I have dubbed, "Pregnancy Rage". It's the immediate snap from being a happy go-with-the-flow kind of person to an enraged person in the blink of an eye. Usually over something irrational. Like say I go to DD for a yummy blended coffee and they ask if I want whipped cream and I say, 'Yes and the chocolate & caramel on top too, please.' And then they hand it to me with no whipped cream or yummy syrups on top and I have to physically fight the urge not to throw it back at the useless soul at the window. {{seriously, why even ask if your just going to give it to me the way YOU want it?!}} Ok, it's nothing terrible. Just a general feeling of my emotions being out of control on the inside and {{because I'm a control freak}} I don't like it. So I thought I'd ask my doctor about it just to hear, "Well, Megs. Your pregnant. And your hormones are crazy, but you aren't. And all of it will go away once you have a baby." You know, a little doctorly reassurance.

Instead this is how the conversation went:

I go in, he asks why Im there {{which freakin annoys the hell out of me}}, determines the paperwork we were supposed to be going over isn't in my file, asks if I have any questions. Then I asked about the pregnancy rage and said something about my emotions feeling out of control. He asked if I had a history of depression and I said yes and told him years ago, but it was situational and that I dont feel that, what I've dubbed the pregnancy rage, is any form of depression. He immediately tells me he thinks I should let him RX me wellbutrin {{WELLBUTRIN people!!}} to "even me out". I repeat that I dont think it has any thing to do with depression he asks if I feel the need to hurt myself, my child or anyone else. To which, I burst into tears. {{Seriously, in ten minutes this guy tried to RX WELLBUTRIN to me, at our FIRST meeting and then he asked if I was going to hurt my kid.}} Now, because Im crying, Im suddenly unable to properly explain what my definition of "pregnancy rage" is and he doesn't really ask. The crying, unfortunately, only fuels the RX discussion. Which he says will really help even me out if I think I need it... clearly he does. Again, I refuse and he says then that I need to see a councelor if Im not going to take his advice, "Just to be safe."

Then the nurse comes out to give me the referral. Tricare is awesome and because of this AWESOMENESS there's this whole long process I'm not going supposed to do for me to see a councelor and instead of saying, "to make it go faster..." She says, "If you feel like your going to hurt your child or yourself you need to go to the ER because they HAVE to see you." I think this is where the pregnancy rage sets in and I should have screamed, "THATS NOT MY PROBLEM!! ITS STUPIDITY LIKE THIS!!" Like I wanted to, but I didnt. I just took the stupid written referral and left.

Perfect. They all think I'm psychotic and no one even asked what was really going on. Awesome.

I completely understand that PPD and Antepartum Depression is a very serious thing. I also COMPLETELY get that having a history of any type of depression makes you more apt to have Ante or Postpartum depression. HOWEVER, I do not feel this jumping to conclusions without explanation the first time you meet a patient is {{nor should it be}} standard protocol.

There is a lesson here people: Just because your doctor says things like, "I think you should let me prescribe you WELLBUTRIN." Does not mean you should let him!! Be daring and think for yourself!

_____________now on to the giveaway_____________


No Model Lady is hosting an awesome birthday giveaway!! She is one of my favorite bloggers!! She is one hot tattoed mama and I love her writing style and her clothing style!! Hope someday I can be cute like her!!

My Poor Kid

** I wrote this a month ago. I was having issue with Blogger not allowing me to publish my posts. Now, the problem is solved, so here it is...**

Sometimes, I have remind myself my kid isn't even two yet. She's a little trooper. For the last 8 weeks we have been living in other people's spaces. That means other people's stuff, Other people's rules, Other people's expectations. Last night she had a meltdown leaving the grocery store. Her crying lasted for about 30 minutes while we drove the short distance home and then made and served dinner. The whole time she was in-consolable. As soon as we set food down in front of her, she stopped crying and ate a whole plate of food. She was hungry. Ravenous, if we go off how much she ate. Sure, she could have just told us she was hungry like she normally does, but she doesn't have to be reasonable. She's two. Not even two.

She's done pretty well, as far as I am concerned, for all the craziness we've drug her through the last 8 weeks. We packed up her life and then went to one state, went back to OK, where we lived with a friend and then we got on a plane and moved again. The kid has no clue what's going on. Her biggest issue, other than random meltdowns like the one last night, is going to bed at night. She refuses to go to sleep unless J and I are both in the room with her {{the three of us are sharing at this point}}. Mostly, It's J she can't be without. If he isn't in the room at night and it's time for bed, she has started throwing herself into these epic tantrums. And by epic I mean 45 minute screaming awful by-the-end-of-them-Mommy-wants-to-hang-herself tantrums. They are pitiful too. She cries for her daddy like its actually possible she'll never see him again. Even if hes only in the next room. You can actually hear her heart breaking because he's not there. And, because I'm a military spouse, all I can think while she is doing it is, "What are we going to do when he deploys?" {{this is usually about the time pregnant, hormonal Mommy gets emotional and J has to come rescue us}} But as long as we're all together in the room, she's fine. She may fuss a bit, but she goes to sleep.

So besides bedtime, she's adjusted pretty well. I'm not saying she isn't a brat, but she's a damn good kid. FOR HER AGE. Since we've left Lawton, she's learned how to correctly identify her basic colors plus pink {{she IS a girl}} and she can now also count from one to ten and {{mostly}} correctly identify the numbers of 1 to 10, if you point and ask her which it is. I'd say 95% of the time she gets it and the other 5% she's testing us to see if we know it. We are working on getting to know her letters, but we aren't going crazy the kid is ONLY 22 months old. When we ask her if she wants something she'll really enjoy {{like, say, going to the pool or ice cream}} she responds with, "Yes, Please Daddy/Mommy." And also She's gone from dipping her forehead at us when we ask for a kiss, to making the funniest little kissy-fishy face and kissing us back. Also, when we ask about her baby sister when she points at my belly she says, "Wywa?" {{hehe! I love it!}}

I'm so excited to be getting our house soon. I can't wait for her {{and, um, for me}} to get to sleep in her own bed. With her toys and her stuff in her own house. I know it will be moving and getting settled in, yet again, but I feel like it will be different and the settling will go much faster because it will be in space that is hers. I wish that we could {{properly}} explain to her that it's just a little longer but that brings me back to reminding myself that she's not even two. We can tell her {{and we do}} but that doesn't mean she'll comprehend it the way we want her to.

And like I said, She doesn't have to be reasonable, she's {{not even}} two.

Hey, Remember Me?

Well, folks, we made it. It took three months and four days of living in other people’s space without our stuff, but we did it. It's been fun. But, thankfully, It’s over. I type to you from my new home office, at my desk, in MY desk chair, drinking coffee from MY favorite coffee cup. It’s a beautiful thing.

The last two weeks of waiting were torture. Well, for me anyways. Not having cable or internet or a vehicle really limits the amount of things you can do during the day. Thankfully, we had a good enough friend who allowed us {{a family of three and a half}} to stay with him {{a single soldier}} while we waited on some elusive move in date. We had two come and go, before we reached our close date, which was so close to being pushed back over a weekend, we were gritting our teeth until we signed every last mortgage document.

Our new house is fantastic! Apart from not being on a large piece of land with a crap ton of horses, it’s pretty much my dream house. It’s a three bedroom with a large bonus and an enclosed office space off of the bonus. {{Haha! That’s right! Thanks to these fabulous glass French doors, I can watch my child play without having to listen to Barney!}} The kitchen came equipped with all of our stainless steel appliances, granite, and a gorgeous island. We also have a beautiful screened in porch with a good sized wooden deck off of it. I waited for the entire closing process for someone to call and laugh at the silly joke they played on us by allowing us to think we could get this house, but it didn’t happen and here we are. I’m in love, can you tell?

Bug is doing great! We were in the house for about a day and a half before our household goods got here. I think, at first, she was kind of feeling jerked around some more, but when we’d leave or enter the house we called it, “Bug’s House” or “Bug’s Room” {{or “Mommy & Daddy’s room” you get the point}} and as soon as they unloaded that first box of toys she was pretty much home. She has been napping and going straight to sleep at night, even asking for “bed” when she’s ready. This is a far different behavior from the screaming, tantrum throwing child we had a month ago.

Speaking of my child, I should mention 2.0 because eventually she'll be here too. It took me four weeks of fighting with my FINE health care system to get to see a doctor. It took so long, the total length of time I went without having prenatal care was eight weeks. Thanks to some failures on the hospital at Ft. Sill's side. But I won't get into that now. When I did FINALLY get to see a physician, I LOVED her! She was great she asked questions, listened, and took notes and did all those doctorly things you expect or hope they do when you feel they are REAL doctors. She ordered an u/s, which we recieved right away, and 2.0 was right where she was supposed to be size and weight wise - if not a little ahead. However, she is sitting "As breach as she can get" with her little tush in my hip socket and her head somewhere near my belly button. We still have lots of time before this becomes an issue so for now... it's fine.

I spent the last few internet-less weeks writing blogs in Word because 1.) I'm lame And 2.) I had nothing else to do so there will be some pyschotic pregnant-rambling blogs coming up here of ways to pass the time should you ever find yourself in my situation. As for me, I should be back now.

Things are returning to normal and normal is so wonderful.