was yesterday. I cannot believe our little baby girl is two. She had a really good birthday, despite the noteable absence of her father. Saturday we had some friends over with their daughters and the three girls had a fun play date and some delicious banana creme cupcakes. After her nap Saturday, she also got to have a play date with our neighbor's son. They love each other and they play so cute. Sunday, her actual birthday, we took a trip to the nice mall in Raleigh and had a nice stroll and M&M birthday cookie. We also sang the happy birthday song quite a few times yesterday.
This year has been full of so many changes for Bug. She's done really well at rolling with the punches and I think we got ourselves one hell of a little military brat. She can now count to ten on her own, she recognizes her numbers and her alphabet, she sings bits & pieces to quite a few nursery rhymes and she surprised, even me, the other day by pointing at the sky and announcing that rain comes from the sky. She is, for sure, a little smartie. She's also very caring and loving. She is constantly giving me hugs and kisses and if I grunt with the effort of moving, she'll ask me if I'm ok. My favorite part of the day is first thing in the morning. When she wakes up, she gets out of bed and comes and finds me where ever I am in the house and we have cuddle time for a few minutes. When she sees me she says, "Mama! Mama!" like it has been weeks since I have seen her. She melts my heart so often.
It was difficult to have her birthday and not have J home and not be able to talk to him. We miss him. He did manage to send a birthday e-mail to his daughter and it was nice that he was able to do that. Not having him here made me emotional and I'm glad that, though I'm sure she misses him, Bug didn't seem to notice.
All in all I'd say she had a good birthday. She has grown so much this year and we are so blessed and thankful for her.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Megs and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, week
The last week has been one comically bad incident after another. Such is life, or my life at least. J left for NTC last week. Of course, I knew we would miss him, I wasn't expecting it to have such an effect on our kid. I'm a pretty understanding military spouse. I try to keep my cool when he's gone and not lose my grip. You can miss your spouse without crawling into bed and crying until they come home. You have to, there is no other option. This understanding allows me to be able to handle a lot of things without cracking from stress. Unfortunately, all the understanding in the world doesn't make my two year old understand whats going on. All she wants is her Daddy. As her Mom, All I want is for her to be happy. Try making that happen when he's 3,000 miles away. I can handle almost anything, but my two year old crying for her daddy and calling for him by name is just too much. Top that with a good sit in front of his picture crying for him and suddenly I can't handle the situation any more and I'm a crying wreck {{seriously, if you saw it and didn't cry I would think you had no heart}}. Luckily for me, he answered when I called that time and he was able to calm us both down, AND we happened to have moved into a pretty awesome neighborhood and when I posted about the situation on FB a couple of neighbors came to my rescue with Daddy-dolls. Not anywhere near as exciting as real Daddy, but it seems to do the trick at bedtime and any other time of day she asks for him.
This isn't the only thing thats gone wrong this week. Last Saturday, while going on post to go grocery shopping my ID was confiscated because it expired two weeks ago. Whoops. I had told J a few times in July we needed to get it taken care of and then between the move and NTC, I flaked on the matter and he's well, a man {{Yes, yes. I know his job is Busy and I don't need to hear it}} and it got forgotten. Until they confiscated it. By the way, this was the day after he left. The gate gaurd was very nice about it. Explained what I needed to do and prepared me for the fact that they probably wouldn't issue me a new one without him. This week has been busy and I wasn't able to get to the ID office until yesterday where not only would they not issue me a new one, they dished out a nice lengthly lecture about how I "let" my husband leave without giving me a POA and how irresponsible it was for him to leave me "not squared away" {{thats a military post term}}. Then, because that lecture apparently wasn't good enough, they sent me to someone else who re-itterated the WHOLE schpeal. {{Awesome.}}
Another thing thats happened this week is that baby brain has doubled since my husband left and I've locked myself out of my house. Twice. Actually, Bug did it once {{she closed and locked the sliding door after I had gone through it}} and she was nice enough to let me back in before I had time to panic. The other time was purely my fault. Our front door has one of those knobs that turns on the inside whether the door is locked or not. Yesterday, the door bell rang and to keep the kid and the dogs safely away from the mail-lady I went out and pulled the door shut behind me. {{Doh!}} I took my package and mail around to find what I already knew, the sliding glass door was locked as well. As was the vehicle where the garage door opener is. Peeeerfect. THANKFULLY, I had my phone in my hand and my wonderful neighbor answered before visions of the fire department beaking into my house where my screaming kid stood waiting, could take over my brain. My neighbor walked to the front of the house and was able to talk Bug into twisting the doorknob enough she could push it open. Our neighbor now has a house key.
The last comically-bad thing I dealt with this week was having to clean a kitchen floor full of bugs {{not to be confused with my Bug}} on Wednesday. Before coffee. Maybe you know this about me, maybe you dont: I don't do much of anything BEFORE coffee. Coming down stairs to a crawling kitchen floor was definitely not how I had hoped to start my Wednesday. After consulting a man and he an exterminator, it was determined that I was "lucky." Apparently, they were after whatever was in the trash can {{a situation I've never had to deal with before}} and if I had come downstairs even an hour later I would have had to clean twice as many bugs and my trash can would have been swarmed. Also, there is a good chance if that were the case, I would have had to pack up and leave until J got home.
There are some shining lights here: 1.) I'm laughing about it all now. At least I have a good sense of humor and even on the worst day I can still maintain proper perspective - things could ALWAYS be worse. 2.) I have AWESOME neighbors. Bug and I have been spending a lot of time with one family in particular who have been so great to us this week. But they aren't the only ones, it was wicked sweet for every one to pitch in when Rylee was having her Daddy-meltdown and its just good reinforcement that we moved into the right neighborhood.
If we couldn't laugh we just would go insane
If we weren't all crazy we would go insane - Jimmy Buffet
This isn't the only thing thats gone wrong this week. Last Saturday, while going on post to go grocery shopping my ID was confiscated because it expired two weeks ago. Whoops. I had told J a few times in July we needed to get it taken care of and then between the move and NTC, I flaked on the matter and he's well, a man {{Yes, yes. I know his job is Busy and I don't need to hear it}} and it got forgotten. Until they confiscated it. By the way, this was the day after he left. The gate gaurd was very nice about it. Explained what I needed to do and prepared me for the fact that they probably wouldn't issue me a new one without him. This week has been busy and I wasn't able to get to the ID office until yesterday where not only would they not issue me a new one, they dished out a nice lengthly lecture about how I "let" my husband leave without giving me a POA and how irresponsible it was for him to leave me "not squared away" {{thats a military post term}}. Then, because that lecture apparently wasn't good enough, they sent me to someone else who re-itterated the WHOLE schpeal. {{Awesome.}}
Another thing thats happened this week is that baby brain has doubled since my husband left and I've locked myself out of my house. Twice. Actually, Bug did it once {{she closed and locked the sliding door after I had gone through it}} and she was nice enough to let me back in before I had time to panic. The other time was purely my fault. Our front door has one of those knobs that turns on the inside whether the door is locked or not. Yesterday, the door bell rang and to keep the kid and the dogs safely away from the mail-lady I went out and pulled the door shut behind me. {{Doh!}} I took my package and mail around to find what I already knew, the sliding glass door was locked as well. As was the vehicle where the garage door opener is. Peeeerfect. THANKFULLY, I had my phone in my hand and my wonderful neighbor answered before visions of the fire department beaking into my house where my screaming kid stood waiting, could take over my brain. My neighbor walked to the front of the house and was able to talk Bug into twisting the doorknob enough she could push it open. Our neighbor now has a house key.
The last comically-bad thing I dealt with this week was having to clean a kitchen floor full of bugs {{not to be confused with my Bug}} on Wednesday. Before coffee. Maybe you know this about me, maybe you dont: I don't do much of anything BEFORE coffee. Coming down stairs to a crawling kitchen floor was definitely not how I had hoped to start my Wednesday. After consulting a man and he an exterminator, it was determined that I was "lucky." Apparently, they were after whatever was in the trash can {{a situation I've never had to deal with before}} and if I had come downstairs even an hour later I would have had to clean twice as many bugs and my trash can would have been swarmed. Also, there is a good chance if that were the case, I would have had to pack up and leave until J got home.
There are some shining lights here: 1.) I'm laughing about it all now. At least I have a good sense of humor and even on the worst day I can still maintain proper perspective - things could ALWAYS be worse. 2.) I have AWESOME neighbors. Bug and I have been spending a lot of time with one family in particular who have been so great to us this week. But they aren't the only ones, it was wicked sweet for every one to pitch in when Rylee was having her Daddy-meltdown and its just good reinforcement that we moved into the right neighborhood.
If we couldn't laugh we just would go insane
If we weren't all crazy we would go insane - Jimmy Buffet
Sunday, August 28, 2011
If at third you don't succeed, spontaneously combust
I have been having mask issues since before we left Oklahoma. Mask is the means by which I blast designs onto whatever it is I am carving and without it I can't do anything. {{Well, I could. It would just be a mess.}} Mask is also expensive and it takes a good two hours {{or more}} of work to get from an image on the computer to a blastable finished product. I'm sure that if you put the two things together {{expensive & time consuming}} you can come to a level of understanding about how badly my head wants to explode when there are issues with it.
Shortly before I stopped working in OK, I had had several packets of mask that had problems. One or two sheets of the pack of five or maybe all of them would come and just be bad. They wouldn't washout, the image wouldn't come out of them at all, some just blew to millions of little mask pieces during the washout process. Its INFURIATING. Having some general idea what I am doing, I have spent many hours on the phone with the mask company trying to decipher who's problem this really is. Of course, they say its mine, but they can't say why and of course because they can't say why, I say it's theirs. {{Really, I'd be ok with it being my fault if we could just figure out what *IT* is.}} I have emailed pictures, waited on next day shipping, asked a thousand questions and still, something seems to be wrong. One major question they cant answer is why I get a perfect washout & blast from, say half the packet of mask, and then the rest is shit? If I was indeed doing something incorrectly, wouldnt I just be dicking up all of the mask?
Yesterday, while trapped inside during Hurricane Irene, I decided to make some new designs and get them ready for blasting and painting. When I did the picture frame and piece of granite the other day I had no issues at all and was blissfully hopeful that the mask issue had some how solved itself. Wrong. Not one item from a FULL sheet of mask came out. Crap. All of it. All of it except one little 2"x2" piece. That one little piece was what was left over from a piece of mask from Thursday {{the day with the perfect washout}}. This gives me hope. Makes me think its not just me screwing something up. After all why did one piece {{one piece from a sheet of mask from whence they all came out perfectly}} come out when the pieces from the new sheet didn't? I'll be e-mailing the company today and trying again on a new sheet.
If it doesn't turn out I could always face reality and get a real job. Or maybe spontaneous combustion really is the answer.
I wonder how I'd look with my head of fire...
Shortly before I stopped working in OK, I had had several packets of mask that had problems. One or two sheets of the pack of five or maybe all of them would come and just be bad. They wouldn't washout, the image wouldn't come out of them at all, some just blew to millions of little mask pieces during the washout process. Its INFURIATING. Having some general idea what I am doing, I have spent many hours on the phone with the mask company trying to decipher who's problem this really is. Of course, they say its mine, but they can't say why and of course because they can't say why, I say it's theirs. {{Really, I'd be ok with it being my fault if we could just figure out what *IT* is.}} I have emailed pictures, waited on next day shipping, asked a thousand questions and still, something seems to be wrong. One major question they cant answer is why I get a perfect washout & blast from, say half the packet of mask, and then the rest is shit? If I was indeed doing something incorrectly, wouldnt I just be dicking up all of the mask?
Yesterday, while trapped inside during Hurricane Irene, I decided to make some new designs and get them ready for blasting and painting. When I did the picture frame and piece of granite the other day I had no issues at all and was blissfully hopeful that the mask issue had some how solved itself. Wrong. Not one item from a FULL sheet of mask came out. Crap. All of it. All of it except one little 2"x2" piece. That one little piece was what was left over from a piece of mask from Thursday {{the day with the perfect washout}}. This gives me hope. Makes me think its not just me screwing something up. After all why did one piece {{one piece from a sheet of mask from whence they all came out perfectly}} come out when the pieces from the new sheet didn't? I'll be e-mailing the company today and trying again on a new sheet.
If it doesn't turn out I could always face reality and get a real job. Or maybe spontaneous combustion really is the answer.
I wonder how I'd look with my head of fire...
Friday, August 26, 2011
I blasted yesterday
For the first time since... March, maybe? It. Was. Awesome!
It has been so long since I have had a creative outlet other than blogging {{and lets face it, thats really just me whining}}. I have been working on two ideas and had them all set up on the computer for immediate use when I got everything I needed to blast again. One is a baby frame and the other was a special something I did for J for our anniversary {{yes, the one three weeks ago... but who's counting?}}
J brought home the last piece of 'equipment' I needed to get to work on Wednesday and though I was eager to get to work, I had spent the morning with an amazing group of women that live in our neighborhood. I think 4 out of 6 of us run some kind of creative business out of our home and maybe spending a morning, out of the house, with people who do {{sort of}} the same thing as I do really inspired me to get the projects done. Not only that but it was great to meet some of the ladies in the neighborhood and between them and all the kids, I think we'll be very happy here for as long as Uncle Sam lets us stay.
Whether it was having good inspiration or just being extremely prepared the WHOLE masking process went off without a hitch {{except for a *cough, cough* quarter inch of standing water in the powder room from over spray during the washout - oops}} and it was like the planets aligned for me to have an awesome first blasting experience in our new house. The hardest parts of the day were setting up some necessary equipment pieces to be used during the process. I don't have quite the flat surface space I had in our last house, yet, and so I had to move a couple pieces of equipment that are kind of heavy and awkward without having a 7 month pregnant belly in the way, much less with one.
The frame was an easy set up. I have been planning this particular piece in my head for quite a while now and finally put it into the computer and then had set up measurements and everything on the actual frame, in anticipation of it being the first piece I was going to blast. Once the mask was prepared, it went together quickly. I blasted Bug's foot print on the backside of the frame and her name and birth stats on the front, to give it some depth and interest. It turned out GREAT! I'm hoping these will be huge! By scanning the image directly from the hospital's documents, we have a permenent reminder of how tiny Bug was when she was born.
The second piece I did yesterday was a piece of granite. J always give me crap because I've made lots of different pieces for everyone else but have yet to add anything to our household other than a coffee cup. {{Wouldnt you think every blastable surface in our house would be done?}} So, I knew once we got here and settled I wanted to make us a name marker for the front walk way. I spent a lot of time going through images and trying to decided what would look the best, represent our family and not turn into some creepy-headstone project. J had suggested his family crest and after some online searching I decided to pay a researcher and get an image of his family crest.
Unlike the picture frame, the granite is much more time consuming. You have to measure and because the pieces are so large you have to print the wording out in pieces and line it all up on the granite. The granite is also harder to work with because its heavy {{again, throw a seven month pregnant belly in with this and I'm sure I would have made a very comical you tube video}}. Right as I was finishing the masking portion of the granite and trying to decide if I could manuever it to the machine by myself, my neighbor text me. I took this as a sign from God and asked if she would like to come watch and maybe lend a hand if I needed it. Turns out, I didn't, but it was nice to have the company and the extra opinion. The granite came out GREAT! And I was so excited to have gotten it done before J got home for the day.
It was a very busy day and I WAY overdid it {{known for a fact thanks to an evening full of Braxton-Hicks}}, but it felt SO GOOD to be working again and sharing my work with everyone!
Like what you see?? Find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Sugar-Bees-Engraving/116723085047013
It has been so long since I have had a creative outlet other than blogging {{and lets face it, thats really just me whining}}. I have been working on two ideas and had them all set up on the computer for immediate use when I got everything I needed to blast again. One is a baby frame and the other was a special something I did for J for our anniversary {{yes, the one three weeks ago... but who's counting?}}
J brought home the last piece of 'equipment' I needed to get to work on Wednesday and though I was eager to get to work, I had spent the morning with an amazing group of women that live in our neighborhood. I think 4 out of 6 of us run some kind of creative business out of our home and maybe spending a morning, out of the house, with people who do {{sort of}} the same thing as I do really inspired me to get the projects done. Not only that but it was great to meet some of the ladies in the neighborhood and between them and all the kids, I think we'll be very happy here for as long as Uncle Sam lets us stay.
Whether it was having good inspiration or just being extremely prepared the WHOLE masking process went off without a hitch {{except for a *cough, cough* quarter inch of standing water in the powder room from over spray during the washout - oops}} and it was like the planets aligned for me to have an awesome first blasting experience in our new house. The hardest parts of the day were setting up some necessary equipment pieces to be used during the process. I don't have quite the flat surface space I had in our last house, yet, and so I had to move a couple pieces of equipment that are kind of heavy and awkward without having a 7 month pregnant belly in the way, much less with one.
The frame was an easy set up. I have been planning this particular piece in my head for quite a while now and finally put it into the computer and then had set up measurements and everything on the actual frame, in anticipation of it being the first piece I was going to blast. Once the mask was prepared, it went together quickly. I blasted Bug's foot print on the backside of the frame and her name and birth stats on the front, to give it some depth and interest. It turned out GREAT! I'm hoping these will be huge! By scanning the image directly from the hospital's documents, we have a permenent reminder of how tiny Bug was when she was born.
The second piece I did yesterday was a piece of granite. J always give me crap because I've made lots of different pieces for everyone else but have yet to add anything to our household other than a coffee cup. {{Wouldnt you think every blastable surface in our house would be done?}} So, I knew once we got here and settled I wanted to make us a name marker for the front walk way. I spent a lot of time going through images and trying to decided what would look the best, represent our family and not turn into some creepy-headstone project. J had suggested his family crest and after some online searching I decided to pay a researcher and get an image of his family crest.
Unlike the picture frame, the granite is much more time consuming. You have to measure and because the pieces are so large you have to print the wording out in pieces and line it all up on the granite. The granite is also harder to work with because its heavy {{again, throw a seven month pregnant belly in with this and I'm sure I would have made a very comical you tube video}}. Right as I was finishing the masking portion of the granite and trying to decide if I could manuever it to the machine by myself, my neighbor text me. I took this as a sign from God and asked if she would like to come watch and maybe lend a hand if I needed it. Turns out, I didn't, but it was nice to have the company and the extra opinion. The granite came out GREAT! And I was so excited to have gotten it done before J got home for the day.
It was a very busy day and I WAY overdid it {{known for a fact thanks to an evening full of Braxton-Hicks}}, but it felt SO GOOD to be working again and sharing my work with everyone!
Like what you see?? Find me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Sugar-Bees-Engraving/116723085047013
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wordless Wednesday
The things we do for our husband's happiness...
Like put up with The Man Chair {{AKA-the ugliest chair in the store}}. At least He was a happy camper this anniversary!
Like put up with The Man Chair {{AKA-the ugliest chair in the store}}. At least He was a happy camper this anniversary!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Just Another Miscellaneous Monday
Our WEDDING anniversary is tomorrow. Three years ago tomorrow, we celebrated our marriage with family and friends, a taco bar and a five gallon cooler of the tastiest margaritas. I love this man!
I've been thinking about school a lot lately. I was supposed to be done with my associates at the end of the spring semester, but thanks to a "slight oversight" by the registrar's at Ft. Sill, I still have 3 classes to finish. This is frustrating but not half as frustrating as the fact that the VA did some weird switcheroo of my benefits mid-semester and now I owe the college almost $600. I got this awesome letter saying the VA still owed me benefits from when I was in that would give me XX amount of dollars a month and they wanted to exhaust my benefits for me before we started using the benefits J transfered to me. We read the letter and it seemed like a good idea and somehow now I owe the college all this money. So not only am I NOT done, now to complete my degree, I have to dig almost $600 out of my butt so that I can continue. Frustrating. Very frustrating. More frustrating is the fact that I wanted to be done at the end of the spring because of the timing of our move and 2.0's arrival. Even if I could pull the six hundred dollars out of my ass {{and believe me it's not there}} it will still be the spring semester before I will have the sanity to add full-time student back to my title. Awesome.
Speaking of titles, I was able to spend a good couple of hours in my garage yesterday. The weather here has been beautiful the last couple of days allowing me to spend some time outside in fresh air. Yesterday, Bug and I were able to get the garage in some kind of order for Sugar Bee's. I got my sandblaster put back together and the air compressor set up. I also will have a little area in the garage with toys and some carpet for the girls to sit and play when I have to be out there working. Now all I need is the sand and the rest of my supplies to arrive {{all at some point this week}} and I'll be able to get back to work! I'm so happy to get back to business!
Another title I have been enjoying has been 'Mommy.' Bug has been saying so much recently and it seems she picks up new things that make us laugh almost everyday. A few weeks ago she dropped the F-bomb after J said it while telling a story. Unfortunately, we couldn't help but laugh. Needless to say we've been trying to watch our pirate-mouths a bit closer. She also has started singing these awesome little songs we cant {{for the most part}}understand. I especially like the ones when she mentions her daddy or her mommy and 'I love you'. Saturday, I took her with me to get some stuff for 2.0 and she was so cute, pointing at stuff as I handed it to the cashier saying her sister's name.
Preparations for 2.0 have finally started {{*cough, cough* with only 3 months to go, we had to start sometime}}. I opened the door to her room on Friday and quickly closed it. We've been using it as a dumping ground for all things baby and it seriously needs to be organized. Thats on my list for this week. A friend of ours had graciously donated a beautiful white wooden crib and another friend has offered loads of baby-clothes and gear. We have been WAY BLESSED by hand-me-downs, for sure! I really stressed about adding Bug to our family. You always hear about how much things change, especially when your expecting your first. I had no clue what to expect from her, from my husband, from me, and it really freaked me out {{have I mentioned I'm a control freak??}} This time I haven't stressed about adding another little body to our family at all. She'll come and we'll adjust and then it'll feel like she was always here, just like it did with Bug.
I'm done boring you...Just another miscellaneous Monday here at a thousand days of choas.
I've been thinking about school a lot lately. I was supposed to be done with my associates at the end of the spring semester, but thanks to a "slight oversight" by the registrar's at Ft. Sill, I still have 3 classes to finish. This is frustrating but not half as frustrating as the fact that the VA did some weird switcheroo of my benefits mid-semester and now I owe the college almost $600. I got this awesome letter saying the VA still owed me benefits from when I was in that would give me XX amount of dollars a month and they wanted to exhaust my benefits for me before we started using the benefits J transfered to me. We read the letter and it seemed like a good idea and somehow now I owe the college all this money. So not only am I NOT done, now to complete my degree, I have to dig almost $600 out of my butt so that I can continue. Frustrating. Very frustrating. More frustrating is the fact that I wanted to be done at the end of the spring because of the timing of our move and 2.0's arrival. Even if I could pull the six hundred dollars out of my ass {{and believe me it's not there}} it will still be the spring semester before I will have the sanity to add full-time student back to my title. Awesome.
Speaking of titles, I was able to spend a good couple of hours in my garage yesterday. The weather here has been beautiful the last couple of days allowing me to spend some time outside in fresh air. Yesterday, Bug and I were able to get the garage in some kind of order for Sugar Bee's. I got my sandblaster put back together and the air compressor set up. I also will have a little area in the garage with toys and some carpet for the girls to sit and play when I have to be out there working. Now all I need is the sand and the rest of my supplies to arrive {{all at some point this week}} and I'll be able to get back to work! I'm so happy to get back to business!
Another title I have been enjoying has been 'Mommy.' Bug has been saying so much recently and it seems she picks up new things that make us laugh almost everyday. A few weeks ago she dropped the F-bomb after J said it while telling a story. Unfortunately, we couldn't help but laugh. Needless to say we've been trying to watch our pirate-mouths a bit closer. She also has started singing these awesome little songs we cant {{for the most part}}understand. I especially like the ones when she mentions her daddy or her mommy and 'I love you'. Saturday, I took her with me to get some stuff for 2.0 and she was so cute, pointing at stuff as I handed it to the cashier saying her sister's name.
Preparations for 2.0 have finally started {{*cough, cough* with only 3 months to go, we had to start sometime}}. I opened the door to her room on Friday and quickly closed it. We've been using it as a dumping ground for all things baby and it seriously needs to be organized. Thats on my list for this week. A friend of ours had graciously donated a beautiful white wooden crib and another friend has offered loads of baby-clothes and gear. We have been WAY BLESSED by hand-me-downs, for sure! I really stressed about adding Bug to our family. You always hear about how much things change, especially when your expecting your first. I had no clue what to expect from her, from my husband, from me, and it really freaked me out {{have I mentioned I'm a control freak??}} This time I haven't stressed about adding another little body to our family at all. She'll come and we'll adjust and then it'll feel like she was always here, just like it did with Bug.
I'm done boring you...Just another miscellaneous Monday here at a thousand days of choas.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Pregnancy Rage & a Blog Giveaway {{not mine}}
You know what would be really funny? A pregnant woman on a show or movie, goes into her doctors office and asks a question about her emotional state and the doctor takes the answer as far to the extreme as possible and carts her out in a straight jacket...
Only this isn't a movie, it's my life. And no, they didn't really go *that* far... Thank goodness.
I want to share this story becuase its funny {{but more of in a haha-I'm-glad-that-didn't-happen-to-me-sort-of-way}} and because I believe that this story is exactly the reason women don't ask for help about their mental health from their health care providers until things go too far.
I have what I have dubbed, "Pregnancy Rage". It's the immediate snap from being a happy go-with-the-flow kind of person to an enraged person in the blink of an eye. Usually over something irrational. Like say I go to DD for a yummy blended coffee and they ask if I want whipped cream and I say, 'Yes and the chocolate & caramel on top too, please.' And then they hand it to me with no whipped cream or yummy syrups on top and I have to physically fight the urge not to throw it back at the useless soul at the window. {{seriously, why even ask if your just going to give it to me the way YOU want it?!}} Ok, it's nothing terrible. Just a general feeling of my emotions being out of control on the inside and {{because I'm a control freak}} I don't like it. So I thought I'd ask my doctor about it just to hear, "Well, Megs. Your pregnant. And your hormones are crazy, but you aren't. And all of it will go away once you have a baby." You know, a little doctorly reassurance.
Instead this is how the conversation went:
I go in, he asks why Im there {{which freakin annoys the hell out of me}}, determines the paperwork we were supposed to be going over isn't in my file, asks if I have any questions. Then I asked about the pregnancy rage and said something about my emotions feeling out of control. He asked if I had a history of depression and I said yes and told him years ago, but it was situational and that I dont feel that, what I've dubbed the pregnancy rage, is any form of depression. He immediately tells me he thinks I should let him RX me wellbutrin {{WELLBUTRIN people!!}} to "even me out". I repeat that I dont think it has any thing to do with depression he asks if I feel the need to hurt myself, my child or anyone else. To which, I burst into tears. {{Seriously, in ten minutes this guy tried to RX WELLBUTRIN to me, at our FIRST meeting and then he asked if I was going to hurt my kid.}} Now, because Im crying, Im suddenly unable to properly explain what my definition of "pregnancy rage" is and he doesn't really ask. The crying, unfortunately, only fuels the RX discussion. Which he says will really help even me out if I think I need it... clearly he does. Again, I refuse and he says then that I need to see a councelor if Im not going to take his advice, "Just to be safe."
Then the nurse comes out to give me the referral. Tricare is awesome and because of this AWESOMENESS there's this whole long process I'mnot going supposed to do for me to see a councelor and instead of saying, "to make it go faster..." She says, "If you feel like your going to hurt your child or yourself you need to go to the ER because they HAVE to see you." I think this is where the pregnancy rage sets in and I should have screamed, "THATS NOT MY PROBLEM!! ITS STUPIDITY LIKE THIS!!" Like I wanted to, but I didnt. I just took the stupid written referral and left.
Perfect. They all think I'm psychotic and no one even asked what was really going on. Awesome.
I completely understand that PPD and Antepartum Depression is a very serious thing. I also COMPLETELY get that having a history of any type of depression makes you more apt to have Ante or Postpartum depression. HOWEVER, I do not feel this jumping to conclusions without explanation the first time you meet a patient is {{nor should it be}} standard protocol.
There is a lesson here people: Just because your doctor says things like, "I think you should let me prescribe you WELLBUTRIN." Does not mean you should let him!! Be daring and think for yourself!
_____________now on to the giveaway_____________
No Model Lady is hosting an awesome birthday giveaway!! She is one of my favorite bloggers!! She is one hot tattoed mama and I love her writing style and her clothing style!! Hope someday I can be cute like her!!
Only this isn't a movie, it's my life. And no, they didn't really go *that* far... Thank goodness.
I want to share this story becuase its funny {{but more of in a haha-I'm-glad-that-didn't-happen-to-me-sort-of-way}} and because I believe that this story is exactly the reason women don't ask for help about their mental health from their health care providers until things go too far.
I have what I have dubbed, "Pregnancy Rage". It's the immediate snap from being a happy go-with-the-flow kind of person to an enraged person in the blink of an eye. Usually over something irrational. Like say I go to DD for a yummy blended coffee and they ask if I want whipped cream and I say, 'Yes and the chocolate & caramel on top too, please.' And then they hand it to me with no whipped cream or yummy syrups on top and I have to physically fight the urge not to throw it back at the useless soul at the window. {{seriously, why even ask if your just going to give it to me the way YOU want it?!}} Ok, it's nothing terrible. Just a general feeling of my emotions being out of control on the inside and {{because I'm a control freak}} I don't like it. So I thought I'd ask my doctor about it just to hear, "Well, Megs. Your pregnant. And your hormones are crazy, but you aren't. And all of it will go away once you have a baby." You know, a little doctorly reassurance.
Instead this is how the conversation went:
I go in, he asks why Im there {{which freakin annoys the hell out of me}}, determines the paperwork we were supposed to be going over isn't in my file, asks if I have any questions. Then I asked about the pregnancy rage and said something about my emotions feeling out of control. He asked if I had a history of depression and I said yes and told him years ago, but it was situational and that I dont feel that, what I've dubbed the pregnancy rage, is any form of depression. He immediately tells me he thinks I should let him RX me wellbutrin {{WELLBUTRIN people!!}} to "even me out". I repeat that I dont think it has any thing to do with depression he asks if I feel the need to hurt myself, my child or anyone else. To which, I burst into tears. {{Seriously, in ten minutes this guy tried to RX WELLBUTRIN to me, at our FIRST meeting and then he asked if I was going to hurt my kid.}} Now, because Im crying, Im suddenly unable to properly explain what my definition of "pregnancy rage" is and he doesn't really ask. The crying, unfortunately, only fuels the RX discussion. Which he says will really help even me out if I think I need it... clearly he does. Again, I refuse and he says then that I need to see a councelor if Im not going to take his advice, "Just to be safe."
Then the nurse comes out to give me the referral. Tricare is awesome and because of this AWESOMENESS there's this whole long process I'm
Perfect. They all think I'm psychotic and no one even asked what was really going on. Awesome.
I completely understand that PPD and Antepartum Depression is a very serious thing. I also COMPLETELY get that having a history of any type of depression makes you more apt to have Ante or Postpartum depression. HOWEVER, I do not feel this jumping to conclusions without explanation the first time you meet a patient is {{nor should it be}} standard protocol.
There is a lesson here people: Just because your doctor says things like, "I think you should let me prescribe you WELLBUTRIN." Does not mean you should let him!! Be daring and think for yourself!
_____________now on to the giveaway_____________
No Model Lady is hosting an awesome birthday giveaway!! She is one of my favorite bloggers!! She is one hot tattoed mama and I love her writing style and her clothing style!! Hope someday I can be cute like her!!
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